6 Tips to Prepare for Family Mediation

1. Understand the Purpose of Family Mediation

Family Dispute Resolution is a mediation process designed to help families resolve disputes and reach agreements in a collaborative manner.   Mediation offers a more amicable approach compared to litigation, with the goal being to foster communication and find solutions that work for everyone involved.

Mediation sessions offer a safe and confidential space for all parties to raise their concerns and hopes.   A wide range of parenting topics may be raised at mediation, including time arrangements with children, parenting styles, communication, education, extra-curricular activities, expenses, screetime boundaries for teenagers, school holidays, new partners, passport renewal and travel. 

Understanding the purpose and potential outcomes of mediation can help set realistic expectations.  It means you can attend the session with an open-mind and in the spirit of compromise.  

2. Prepare Emotionally for Mediation

It is important to take some time to emotionally prepare for mediation.  It’s normal to have strong feelings,  particularly as the issues to be explored involve your children and/or property.  Mediators expect there to be emotion in the room.  However, taking time to process your feelings beforehand can prevent them from interfering with with the ability to negotiate a resolution.  

Consider speaking with trusted family and friends, a therapist or counsellor if you feel need additional support.  Practicing relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or mindfulness can also be beneficial.  You may also speak to you mediator about bringing a support person along to the mediation.  This can make the process less daunting.

3. Gather Necessary Documentation

Documentation is often not required in a parenting mediation.  However, there are strict disclosure requirements in a property matter, and it is important to gather all relevant documentation ahead of time. This includes financial statements and valuations, including details of all the items you own, and the money you owe.  Having this information readily available can facilitate discussions and negotiations, and increases the prospect of resolution.  

We recomend that you create a list of all documents you require and organise the paperwork in a way that is easy to access during the session. This preparation serves multiple purposes - it helps you present your case clearly and demonstrates your commitment to reaching a resolution.

4. Identify Key Issues and Goals

Before attending mediation, take time to identify the key issues that need to be addressed.   Make a list of your priorities and goals, while still keeping an open-mind.  Knowing what you want to achieve can help keep discussions focused and lessen the risk of conversations going off track.  

Consider both short-term and long-term goals.  For example, think about immediate time arrangements with children, as well as plans for future adjustments.  This is important in parenting matters because children grow and their needs change.   Communicating these goals clearly can guide the mediator in assisting all parties effectively.

Mediators will ask you to provide a brief opening statement at the start of a mediation.  This is the opportunity for you to outline why you are at mediation, and what issues you want to discuss.  This opening statement will help inform the agenda for mediation.  

5. Prepare for Effective Communication

Effective communication is important in mediation.  Practice active listening and be prepared to articulate your thoughts clearly and respectfully. Remember that mediation is not about winning or losing but finding a solution that works for everyone.  

It is best not to focus too much on the past, or to allocate blame to the other party.  Mediation works best when parties are future-focused, and are able to express their needs and concerns in a constructive manner. 

We understand that communication can be difficult, particularly when there has been trauma and hurt.  Speak to your mediator about options to help keep communication productive - this may include taking regular breaks, having a support person or lawyer present, or shuttle mediation (which is when the parties are in separate rooms and the mediator moves back and forth to convey messages and facilitate negotiations).  

6. Seek Professional Guidance

Finally, consider seeking assistance from professionals such as lawyers or financial advisors who can provide valuable insights into your situation. These professionals can provide you with advice and help you understand your rights and responsibilities.  Professional input can make decision-making at mediation more informed.  

While professionals can offer support, remember that the ultimate goal of mediation is for both parties to reach an agreement collaboratively. Use professional advice as a resource, but remain actively involved in the decision-making process.

By following these tips and preparing thoroughly, you can approach mediation with confidence and clarity, increasing the likelihood of a satisfactory resolution where relationships remain intact.