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A sad Asian woman spends Christmas with her two young children.

<h2>Navigating Christmas after Separation</h2><p>While Christmas is meant to be a happy time of the year, this is not always the case for separated parents. The festive season can bring additional challenges for the co-parenting relationship as both parents will want to spend this precious time with their children. Below are some tips that may help separated parents share in the magic.</p><figure id="figure-bie5se8elmj8ab2y7" class=""><img id="bie5se8elmj8ab2y7" src="https://cdn.durable.co/getty/35zpc9viERPYjmov55Wdnr4QeGogEAfZu8XsJTrxyQ82uxRtHb9B1JBpsKfab99i.jpeg" alt="parents christmas" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/getty/35zpc9viERPYjmov55Wdnr4QeGogEAfZu8XsJTrxyQ82uxRtHb9B1JBpsKfab99i.jpeg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></figure><h3>Have clear and agreed plans</h3><p>Nobody wants Christmas ruined by parental conflict and it is important for children to know in advance what their Christmas will look like. For these reasons, The Dispute Resolution Space recommends having plans agreed well in advance of Christmas day.&nbsp;</p><p>For some, agreements can be reached by contacting the other parent and negotiating directly.&nbsp; However, many families view Family Dispute Resolution as a more desirable option because parties get help from a neutral mediator in a safe environment where conflict is effectively managed.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p>There is also the option of going to Court and obtaining legally enforceable&nbsp; Orders.&nbsp; However, for most people, this is considered the last resort because of the stress, cost and delay associated with the Court process.&nbsp; At any rate, Family Dispute Resolution is a mandatory step that must be taken before parties are usually permitted to proceed to Court.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p><figure id="figure-dl3klkcrmmj8abfg8" class=""><img id="dl3klkcrmmj8abfg8" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1441572234/photo/woman-writing-plans-for-2023-on-the-christmas-table-holding-a-phone-with-a-calendar-on-the.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=spRd7PLTV_KaZ9KgV9XDnuV6KWKSTgfpSHDAihdz2ts=" alt="Woman writing  plans for 2023 on the Christmas table, holding a phone with a calendar on the screen." title="Woman writing  plans for 2023 on the Christmas table, holding a phone with a calendar on the screen." class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="null" data-positiony="null" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1441572234/photo/woman-writing-plans-for-2023-on-the-christmas-table-holding-a-phone-with-a-calendar-on-the.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=spRd7PLTV_KaZ9KgV9XDnuV6KWKSTgfpSHDAihdz2ts=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure><h3>Be flexible</h3><p>At The Dispute Resolution Space, our mediators encourage parties to come up with their own arrangements for the Christmas period. There are no hard and fast rules dictating how children should spend their time, and mediation provides the space for parents to be creative and come up with plans that suit the specific needs of their own unique family.</p><p>There are so many different types of arrangements that may work, depending on the circumstances. In the case of young children, many parents want to witness the magic of watching excited children wake to discover Santa has delivered presents.&nbsp; &nbsp;At the Dispute Resolution Space, we encourage parents to brainstorm ways they can both witness the Santa magic – is the co-parenting relationship such that they can observe the unwrapping of presents together? Or is it best for parents to have Christmas morning with the children on alternative years? Or should Santa make deliveries at two different houses?</p><p>For older children, alternating Christmas day each year between the parents may be the fairest option. However, if Christmas is more important to one side of the family, perhaps an agreement can be reached where one parent always has Christmas day with the children, while the other parent takes the children away on a relaxing holiday after the Christmas chaos is over.</p><p>Culture is also important. For some parents, Christmas may be celebrated on Christmas Eve.&nbsp; Alternatively, Boxing Day or New Years Eve may be more important.</p><h3>Consider other special events</h3><p>There are many events over the Christmas period. There may be religious celebrations to attend. Children may have events on at School, such as Christmas concerts and plays. It is important to think early about what these events will look like and talk to your children about the agreements reached. It is important for children to know beforehand whether one or both parents will attend. If it’s the latter situation, the children should be given details about what this will look like – will both parents be standing together or apart? Will either parent be bringing someone else? Having this information beforehand, will help children feel less stressed and more able to enjoy the celebrations they deserve.</p><figure id="figure-yhlzob85k4mj8abr0k" class=""><img id="yhlzob85k4mj8abr0k" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/810122574/photo/christmas-day-marked-on-calendar.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=gN9zDAqkL6w6saiJCmRoGAQ_L8fz0WQL-8XxWoaoCfg=" alt="Christmas day marked on calendar" title="Christmas day marked on calendar" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="null" data-positiony="null" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/810122574/photo/christmas-day-marked-on-calendar.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=gN9zDAqkL6w6saiJCmRoGAQ_L8fz0WQL-8XxWoaoCfg=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure><p>Planning early through mediation is important particularly as the events are likely to require a departure from the normal parenting arrangements. Flexibility is key, and the mediators at The Dispute Resolution Space can help parents negotiate and document agreements.</p><h3>Think about gifts&nbsp;</h3><p>Christmas gifts can often be a source of conflict between separated parents. Parents may have different budgets, which may leave one parent feeling inadequate and the "least favourite” parent.&nbsp; Poor communication between parents can mean children end up with duplicate gifts. </p><p>Mediation can provide the opportunity for parents to share their feelings about this and come up with creative solutions. It provides a safe process to have a conversation about expectations, budget and how to divide up a child’s Christmas list.</p><h3>Focus on making new memories</h3><p>Despite the additional challenges, Christmas can provide the opportunity for separated parents to do something different and better with the children. A new house may mean a parent can decorate the house differently. It may also present an opportunity for the Elf on the Shelf to make his first appearance!</p><figure id="figure-4wa1lyb0djmj8acit1" class=""><img id="4wa1lyb0djmj8acit1" src="https://cdn.durable.co/getty/2dKuQM2za1ArsOjzHbpdn4VqFvvFof62sWlhHLvwohpGa052rXTWlgeDmD2rNlwY.jpeg" alt="happy children christmas" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/getty/2dKuQM2za1ArsOjzHbpdn4VqFvvFof62sWlhHLvwohpGa052rXTWlgeDmD2rNlwY.jpeg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></figure><p>With thoughtful planning and cooperation, separated parents can ensure that Christmas remains a magical time for their children, fostering lasting memories and a strong sense of family connection.</p>

Tips for making the most of Christmas after separation

Wooden blocks, puzzles with the word conflict and a mediator that connects them.

<h2>1. Understand the Purpose of Family Mediation</h2><p>Family Dispute Resolution is a mediation process designed to help families resolve disputes and reach agreements in a collaborative manner.&nbsp; &nbsp;Mediation offers a more amicable approach compared to litigation, with the goal being to foster communication and find solutions that work for everyone involved.</p><p>Mediation sessions offer a safe and confidential space for all parties to raise their concerns and hopes.&nbsp; &nbsp;A wide range of parenting topics may be raised at mediation, including time arrangements with children, parenting styles, communication, education, extra-curricular activities, expenses, screetime boundaries for teenagers, school holidays, new partners, passport renewal and travel.&nbsp;</p><p>Understanding the purpose and potential outcomes of mediation can help set realistic expectations.&nbsp; It means you can attend the session with an open-mind and in the spirit of compromise.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p><figure id="figure-2fioysg30emgvyuo0i" class=""><img id="2fioysg30emgvyuo0i" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1354892970/photo/mediator-or-family-counsel-with-couple-in-therapy-meeting-divorce-lawyer-marriage-counselor.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=ku7T38OAWQjUQ6IYoTqw4pS6fVF6_qXu8GZ_Oz6z4Z4=" alt="family mediation" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1354892970/photo/mediator-or-family-counsel-with-couple-in-therapy-meeting-divorce-lawyer-marriage-counselor.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=ku7T38OAWQjUQ6IYoTqw4pS6fVF6_qXu8GZ_Oz6z4Z4=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></figure><h2>2. Prepare Emotionally for Mediation</h2><p>It is important to take some time to emotionally prepare for mediation.&nbsp; It’s normal to have strong feelings,&nbsp; particularly as the issues to be explored involve your children and/or property.&nbsp; Mediators expect there to be emotion in the room.&nbsp; However, taking time to process your feelings beforehand can prevent them from interfering with with the ability to negotiate a resolution.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p>Consider speaking with trusted family and friends, a therapist or counsellor if you feel need additional support.&nbsp; Practicing relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or mindfulness can also be beneficial.&nbsp; You may also speak to you mediator about bringing a support person along to the mediation.&nbsp; This can make the process less daunting.</p><h2>3. Gather Necessary Documentation</h2><p>Documentation is often not required in a parenting mediation.&nbsp; However, there are strict disclosure requirements in a property matter, and it is important to gather all relevant documentation ahead of time. This includes financial statements and valuations, including details of all the items you own, and the money you owe.&nbsp; Having this information readily available can facilitate discussions and negotiations, and increases the prospect of resolution.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p>We recomend that you create a list of all documents you require and organise the paperwork in a way that is easy to access during the session. This preparation serves multiple purposes - it helps you present your case clearly and demonstrates your commitment to reaching a resolution.</p><figure id="figure-2dtc4hecvmgvyv3i4" class=""><img id="2dtc4hecvmgvyv3i4" src="https://cdn.durable.co/getty/290VP6xSypgMDLt2XMGE3fhhiT2P0lYvHTgc9driqAfiH43vJr3wSv2hIPR7FNHg.jpeg" alt="document preparation" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/getty/290VP6xSypgMDLt2XMGE3fhhiT2P0lYvHTgc9driqAfiH43vJr3wSv2hIPR7FNHg.jpeg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></figure><h2>4. Identify Key Issues and Goals</h2><p>Before attending mediation, take time to identify the key issues that need to be addressed.&nbsp; &nbsp;Make a list of your priorities and goals, while still keeping an open-mind.&nbsp; Knowing what you want to achieve can help keep discussions focused and lessen the risk of conversations going off track.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p>Consider both short-term and long-term goals.&nbsp; For example, think about immediate time arrangements with children, as well as plans for future adjustments.&nbsp; This is important in parenting matters because children grow and their needs change.&nbsp; &nbsp;Communicating these goals clearly can guide the mediator in assisting all parties effectively.</p><p>Mediators will ask you to provide a brief opening statement at the start of a mediation.&nbsp; This is the opportunity for you to outline why you are at mediation, and what issues you want to discuss.&nbsp; This opening statement will help inform the agenda for mediation.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p><h2>5. Prepare for Effective Communication</h2><p>Effective communication is important in mediation.&nbsp; Practice active listening and be prepared to articulate your thoughts clearly and respectfully. Remember that mediation is not about winning or losing but finding a solution that works for everyone.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p>It is best not to focus too much on the past, or to allocate blame to the other party.&nbsp; Mediation works best when parties are future-focused, and are able to express their needs and concerns in a constructive manner.&nbsp;</p><p>We understand that communication can be difficult, particularly when there has been trauma and hurt.&nbsp; Speak to your mediator about options to help keep communication productive - this may include taking regular breaks, having a support person or lawyer present, or shuttle mediation (which is when the parties are in separate rooms and the mediator moves back and forth to convey messages and facilitate negotiations).&nbsp;&nbsp;</p><figure id="figure-6ol32r7oq4mgvyvfzx" class=""><img id="6ol32r7oq4mgvyvfzx" src="https://cdn.durable.co/getty/2HqazqoUDiMwb8Pa5e49KwYyhFVL2JkEIWvMTo4PIgU6UlnYMPjpAwumCRhFSFwo.jpeg" alt="communication" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-2xl md:rounded-3xl lg:rounded-4xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/getty/2HqazqoUDiMwb8Pa5e49KwYyhFVL2JkEIWvMTo4PIgU6UlnYMPjpAwumCRhFSFwo.jpeg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></figure><h2>6. Seek Professional Guidance</h2><p>Finally, consider seeking assistance from professionals such as lawyers or financial advisors who can provide valuable insights into your situation. These professionals can provide you with advice and help you understand your rights and responsibilities.&nbsp; Professional input can make decision-making at mediation more informed.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p>While professionals can offer support, remember that the ultimate goal of mediation is for both parties to reach an agreement collaboratively. Use professional advice as a resource, but remain actively involved in the decision-making process.</p><p>By following these tips and preparing thoroughly, you can approach mediation with confidence and clarity, increasing the likelihood of a satisfactory resolution where relationships remain intact.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p>

6 Tips to Prepare for Family Mediation

The Dispute Resolution Space

The Dispute Resolution Space provides mediation and family dispute resolution services on the north shore of Sydney, Australia. We provide mediation services on the North Shore of Sydney, Hobart in Tasmania and throughout Australia. The practice emphasizes collaborative communication and confidential guidance to achieve mutually agreeable mediation outcomes.